Thoughts from My Journal #1

journal

Meet my new journal.  Though by “new,” I mean “it’s a blank book a family member gave me for Christmas years ago that I never did anything with.”

In high school and early college, I kept a journal consistently, if not daily.  It was full of teenage and young-adult angst, and I had this horrible tendency to write letters in it to my (then-) current boyfriend about how pissed off I was, instead of actually telling him.

Not planning on doing that so much anymore.

But I’ve been thinking for a while about starting again.  Just a page a day, and I’d use prompts when I wanted to or just write whatever I felt like, if that’s the mood I was in.

Today was day #4, and while I’m sure most of this journal will be kept private, I wanted to share what I wrote today:

Write about a life change you are currently going through and what you’ve learned from it.

It’s taken me years to work up the courage to follow my dream of writing and publishing a novel.  I’ve written for fun basically my whole life, but I had mixed feelings about trying to make something of it.  Part of my reluctance came from well-meaning discouragement from adults in my life whenever I expressed an interest in any sort of creative career.  Part of it came from self-doubt: I can’t do that, it’s too hard and you have to be lucky to be successful.

Well, it is hard.  Writing my first novel has consumed most of my free time for the entire 2015 calendar year.  I’ve cut back on other hobbies or abandoned them completely.  I have less time for my friends.  But I don’t regret it.

I’m not published yet, but I still have such a sense of pride and accomplishment from how far I’ve come and how much I’ve learned so far.

There’s still much more that I need to learn, that I need to do, and sometimes it’s frightening.  But I have found out something about my myself.

I AM DRIVEN ENOUGH TO DO THIS.

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