Flash Fiction #6: The Worst Love Potion

“Love potions have no effect on people who are already in love.  When your friend hexes you with an everybody-loves-me potion, you brace yourself for an irritating day.  But one person doesn’t act any differently, and it’s not who you’d expect.” – the prompt from tumblr’s new #spontaneouswriteblr tag

(Of course I hopped right on that. Here goes.)

I should have realized that going home for the night wouldn’t actually give me any peace.

Sure, Tammy loved me, we’d been friends and roommates for half of forever, but she didn’t love me love me, so of course, the stupid hex on me snared her, too. As soon as I walked through the door and dropped my keys on the side table, she rushed out of the kitchen with a cupcake in her hands, holding it out to me. She must have started baking as soon as she’d gotten home from her morning shift at the diner, to have made something so beautifully fancy. Thick swirls of pale buttercream, candied violets on top and everything.

She still had a smudge of flour beside her nose besides the handprints of it on her apron. All day my coworkers had been stealing away to the bathroom to touch up their makeup or straighten their hair and their ties before wandering over to “chat” with me about one upcoming project or another. All day, virtual strangers had been doing their best to impress me with their looks or their signs of wealth or their flirting skills. That’s all they had, because they barely knew me. They could only “love” me in the most superficial ways.

Tammy wasn’t wearing a single speck of makeup under the dusting of flour. She was in her cutest heart-print pajamas under the apron, I’d give her that, but she was banking on my sweet tooth to win my affection. Because she did know me.

I took the cupcake and hugged her, hoping that would be enough to keep her from trying to kiss me. Satisfaction of the smaller urge. Tomorrow, this would be over–tomorrow, I’d head downtown first thing and bang on Saul’s door until he woke up and let me in. Saul had fixed Kaitlyn’s hexed car and Cameron’s cursed umbrella. He’d even found Oliver’s ring after that pompous, insufferable warlock had thrown it into the river after Oliver dumped him. If something was broken, off, temperamental, Saul could fix it.

Saul had to be able to fix me, too, and soon. Five marriage proposals in one day were easily four too many.

I suffered Tammy’s enthusiasm well enough to follow her into the kitchen as she raved about this movie she wanted to see that she thought I’d like too. The chatter didn’t quite drown out the sound of the faucet running.

Mike was standing at the sink, washing dishes. Oh, this was the worst. I’d been hoping I wouldn’t run into anyone else tonight, and Tammy’s younger brother? The last thing I needed was him getting caught up in this hex, too. I suppose the best I could hope was that when I got the hex broken, no one would remember anything they’d done or said to me. Magic worked that way, sometimes, when a spell made people act out of character. Their brains couldn’t cope with whatever they’d done that didn’t fit with how they thought of themselves.

“Here’s the rest of the cupcakes!” Tammy declared with a sweeping gesture at the loaded cooling racks lined up next to the stove. Two dozen. There went my New Year’s resolution to snack less.

“Thanks, Tammy.” I swallowed the protest that came to my lips, oh, no, you shouldn’t have. I’d tried that tactic already today and it hadn’t worked. If I just floated along with whatever behavior didn’t cross any lines, I’d make it until tomorrow in one piece.

Apparently satisfied, Tammy flounced out of the room, hopefully to clean herself up. If I could get myself some dinner from the fridge and extricate myself from the kitchen without any disaster with Mike occurring, I could hole up in my bedroom and lock Tammy out, if necessary.

“Hey, Nora,” Mike greeted me without looking up from the sink.

Okay, good start. Maybe he’d be one of the guys who just asked me for a date instead of proposing. I could handle that, even from him.

“Hey, Mike. Tammy roped you into baking with her again?” I took a bite of the cupcake in my hand, which, of course, was fantastic. Even if made under the influence of a mind-warping hex. Nothing could stop Tammy from being a wizard in the kitchen.

Now, that was a thought…had she been blessed as a kid with a spell for phenomenal food-preparation skills? That, I’d believe in a heartbeat.

While I leaned against the counter and savored my first bite of the cupcake, Mike set a dish on the rack and snorted. “We were supposed to go down to Reilly’s for quiz night, but she wouldn’t abandon the cupcakes until you got here. I suggested leaving a note with one on the table and she nearly took my head off.” He paused, staring at a plate crusted with spaghetti sauce, my dinner from the night before. “I didn’t forget your birthday, did I? I would swear it’s not until next month, but if I did–”

“No, you’re right,” I cut him off. “You didn’t miss it.”

He grinned and started washing the next plate. “Good. Are you celebrating something else, then? A promotion or something? Tammy didn’t say why you suddenly needed baked goods.”

No, of course she wouldn’t. The only person I know who kept their deep feelings better guarded than Tammy was Mike himself. On the surface, Tam was always sweetness and light and giving, but it had taken years for her to admit to me the reasons she didn’t get along with her mother or that she had always been frightened of any water deeper than her head.

I got along with Mike just fine when he hung around–he and Tammy had always been close, only being a year apart–but I didn’t know a single one of his secrets. Maybe he didn’t have any to know.

“No promotion,” I answered. “She gets it in her head sometimes that I need cheering up, so she bakes me things or takes me out for a girls’ night or something. I’m not sure what I do to bring it on, but maybe that’s it.” It was the truth, as far as I could tell it, because Tammy really did do that sort of thing. It was just this time, I knew why. The damned hex.

But Mike glanced over at me, his eyes narrowed in an expression that I’m sure he meant to look serious, but came off looking more suspicious. “And you don’t need cheering up? It looks like my plans with Tammy went out the window, which means I haven’t had dinner yet. We’re too late to make it to the quiz night, it started half an hour ago, but we could head somewhere else. That Thai place over on Brassard, maybe, I haven’t been for a while and they make the best panang.”

If that was the date he was asking me on, man, did I suddenly understand why Mike seemed perpetually single. He needed to up his game, no wonder he ended up with women for a date or two before moving on, he couldn’t land anyone with an invitation so casual it wasn’t even a date at all–

I blinked, breaking the staring contest I was having with the side of Mike’s head. He wasn’t asking me on a date. He wasn’t declaring undying love for me, or proposing marriage, or even baking me cupcakes.

He was washing my dirty dishes and making sure he hadn’t forgotten my birthday.

How long had he been in love with me and never said? I wanted to cry, because I shouldn’t have found out this way. I shouldn’t know, when he clearly didn’t mean to tell me. This damned hex!

“Can I take a rain check?” I asked him, my voice weak. “Work was hell today, I just want to stay in. Maybe start a new book and then fall asleep with my lamp still on. You know, stereotypical bookworm stuff.”

“Ah, should have offered to take you to the library instead, I see. You let me know when you’re up for spicy food, then, instead of spicy romance novels. No expiration date.”

I nodded, abandoning my plan to have a healthy dinner in favor of swiping a second cupcake, because that would let me leave the kitchen faster. I could hear Tammy running the shower, so if I hid in my room before she was out, maybe she wouldn’t bother me again. Out of sight, out of mind.

“Good night, Nora,” Mike said as I was leaving.

“Good night.” I couldn’t say his name or I might choke on it. I had to get this hex broken. I had to. How could I ever try dating Mike if everyone else who loved me would always be getting in the way?

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