#48 – Kiss Me Hard Before You Go, by Shannon McCrimmon
- Read: 4/18/17 – 4/12/17
- Challenge: #readselfpublished
- Rating: 2/5 stars
A lackluster effort riddled with redundant filler, spelling errors, incorrectly used words (“libel” is not the same as “liable”–no one is libel to do something) and unnecessary stage direction. This is a first-draft level story that needs several layers of editing.
First, the plot holes. Why is there a skating rink on the farm? (“To make extra money,” I know, but since we hardly see Evie or her father doing actual farm work, maybe they should start there?) What nights is it open, and does anyone else run it when Evie’s not there? Because she only seems to be there when a plot point needs to happen at the rink. It never stops her from being somewhere else when she’d rather be. Then there’s her best friend, whose pregnancy subplot is thin and pointless–as near as I can tell, she’s only pregnant so Finch can punch her jerk of a boyfriend once to impress/defend Evie. There’s no other relevance to the main plot.
Second, the writing clean-up. There’s so much filler. People “remember” something in one sentence then start “reminiscing” in the next. They take whole paragraphs to move across a room, every motion requiring description. Missing or misplaced commas abound, clauses dangle wildly, and I had to reread many sentences due to pronoun confusion, leading me to believe one character was performing an action when it was someone else.
Evie and Finch were dull protagonists who I never got excited enough about to root for, and honestly, there wasn’t even that much conflict in their relationship. Her dad’s prohibition on the “carnies” talking to Evie is abandoned right away (or else there wouldn’t even be a story) but the father doesn’t even give Finch a hard time when they meet before one of Evie’s dates. And Finch leaving with the carnival isn’t addressed at all until right before it happens, then the weeks he’s gone are compressed into about a chapter, leaving the reader to feel it’s hardly been any time at all before he’s back.
Had I not been reading this for #readselfpublished in order to give an honest review, I would not have finished this.
Yeah, so, I only read one book this week? That’s unusual for me, but I’ve been spending quality time on editing WWNTR again, after the writing slump, and I’ve also picked up knitting again after several years away. I used to knit TONS and now that I’m doing it again I think it was an unconscious self-medication for my then-undiagnosed anxiety. Because man, knitting feels good, so I’ve been doing that (while bingeing on Person of Interest) instead of reading. But I will read at least one book for next week!