Let Me Tell You a Story #27: Procrastination

“You must write every single day of your life… You must lurk in libraries and climb the stacks like ladders to sniff books like perfumes and wear books like hats upon your crazy heads… may you be in love every day for the next 20,000 days. And out of that love, remake a world.” Ray Bradbury

I’ve been a big proponent in the past of the axiom “write every day,” but I can only rarely fulfill that goal. I’m not a full-time writer–I have a day job. I have family responsibilities. I like to play video games.

During NaNoWriMo each year, with a clear goal in mind (50K or more) and a huge community of support around me, I have no trouble pounding out the word count daily.

Then December hits, and the holiday frenzy begins, and I’m kicking myself for not having time.

goaltrackernano

This is what my current progress looks like. And the longer I go between writing sessions, the harder it is to make myself sit down and do it. Why? Because I feel like a failure for not writing every day. Because I’m so far behind I don’t believe I can catch up.

But that’s nonsense, and I know it. When I can make the time, I can pump out the words like my fingers are possessed, flying over the keyboard almost without volition. I’ve written over 7K in one day before (this year’s NaNo); I’ve written 10K in a weekend (when I started the original draft of What We Need to Survive); I once wrote, rewrote, and edited a 12K novelette for a contest in six days, start to finish.

Writing isn’t the problem. It’s the motivation to write that’s coming hard. Even now, I could be working on my project instead of this blog post, which I could just as easily do tomorrow. Or even when I wake up Monday morning, because who would know if I hadn’t just given away that it’s actually Saturday afternoon when I’m writing this?

And the farther behind I fall, the harder it is to feel like the effort means anything.

I don’t think it’s bad to write every day, if it’s something you’re capable of, or something you need to do to keep yourself writing. This isn’t me slagging off at writers who have dedicated writing time each day.

But the longer I try to keep up that sort of discipline myself, the more stifled I feel by it.

Write when you can. If that’s five minutes while dinner is on the stove, or five hours when you have the day off your regular job, it doesn’t matter. Write when you can.

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